I'm very tired

[Guy]

The train was quite crowded, so a U. S. Marine walked the entire
length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a
well dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle.. The war-
weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?"

The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular,
"Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left
was under that dog. "Please, ma'am. May I sit down ? I'm very
tired."

She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are
also arrogant!"

This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the
little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honor! This
American should be put in his place!"

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, "Sir, you
Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong
thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos
on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have
thrown the wrong bitch out the window!"

[Anonymous]

This morning on the M25,
I looked over to my left and there was a



Woman

In a brand new
4 wheel drive

Doing 65 mph


With her
Face up next to her

Rear view mirror

Putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away
For a couple seconds !

And when I looked back she was

Halfway over into my lane,


Still working on that makeup.

As a man,

I don't scare easily.

But she scared me so much;
I dropped

My electric shaver ,


Which knocked

The donut

Out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying
To straighten out the car

Using my knees against
The steering wheel,

It knocked

My cell phone

Away from my ear

Which fell

Into the coffee

Between my legs! ,

Splashed,


And Scalded


My family jewels,


Ruined the damn phone,

Soaked my trousers,

And disconnected an Important call.

Damn women drivers!!