So my final weekender at the 'Strip in England

Before my deportation to Oz
Philth picked me up in the tough looking, evil sounding, very red '73 Challenger at about 10 Friday morning. I've got all me gear and stuff for the weekend together in 10 minutes flat!!! Ahah! The joys of not taking a car!

For the first time in 10yrs of going to these rwyb type events I haven't got the Valiant with me. It's a bit of a squeeze getting stuff in an E-bod though!!!

Off we cruise to Blue's workshop and hook up with Jem in his Ratster and Blue with new super surprise graphics on the Detroit Hustle Dart, absolutely awesome

Jeff is along for the ride and off we go! No problems at all and a fine cruise up

Me and Philth spot Blue doing the "Detroit Hustle" dance whilst driving, but it turns out he was pushing the overhead console L and R indicator buttons

Into Shakey and Guy is there with a few buddies who he cajoled into helping put his tent up. Set the tents up whilst watching a large scale RC Lightning doing the do. Very impressive. Whilst Jeff does more Dart graphic things and Blue sorts the Dart into race trim, me, Philth and Jem go off in The Ratster to Shakey Tesco for provisions. My first time out for a cruise in this car. Wow! It is one smooth and taut ride, great credit to Blue and Jem for all the hardwork over the last couple of years. Back to Shakey beered and fooded up. After the BBQ and a few drinks it's over to the ClubHouse where we had a fine time. Nice to have a chat with Craig and Wendy, never really gassed with you two before

. 3am was time to turn in after setting the world to rights with Budge, Rich and Philth. 9.30am, yes 9.30am and I'm up and alive!!!

There is a reason! Budgie had given the keys to his wicked newly imported Stroker 340 6 pack 4 speed '71 Duster to me and Philth to have some fun with whilst he was off on business! Result! Wake Philth to get the keys. Fire the Duster up and it sounds like a bag o'nails

Aha! Perhaps Budge has bamboozled us into fixing it! Sneaky! After throwing a light on it and stripping the dizzy I am in the process of firing it up after sticking it back in the hole when Philth turns up. "Hey Phil! Can you turn the dizzy and get it sweet, then we'll time it in" Philth has a tweak. Sounds good. Throw the light on it.......

35 all in. Precisely what we wanted. Philth! You de man! Sounded like a proper car now

Get scrutineered and the scrute actually goes away to get cable ties to tie the battery in. Excellent service

Fanny around for a bit, never having driven a LHD 4 speed before, then it's off to the fire up lane. First run 15.2@99. Man these 4 speeds are a blast!

(but not being able to hear the engine cos of the mufflers and helmet and not having a rev counter I was taking it easy, honest

) Round for another go and get a bit more lairy on the launch 14.88@88 blazing the baldy tyres through 1st and suffering a slight misfire at the top end. Check the car over, nothing untoward, but it's not my car and it's a 4 speed and more prone to possible damage, especially from an inexperienced 4 speed pilot

So we rest it up whilst helping a DragStrip Virgin....................Ladies and gentlemen! Jem, after years of saying he'd never go down the strip, was about to start out on the slippery slope!!

Me and Philth go down the fire up lane after he's fitted the seat belts, handily in a plastic bag in the trunk. We calm his nerves and once strapped in I give his nutsack a quick squeeze for luck, an old tradition when crewing for Johnny Mental in his Nitro Slingshot. Off Jem goes and scores a 15.8, first run, beating a Golf!

He doesn't do anything wrong and you'd be hard pressed to know he was popping his cherry. Me and Philth pick up the titty ticket (race number 36C

) and wait for Jem at the return road. The look on his face! Eyes like saucers, we couldn't stop him wittering!!!

"Man, what a gig!!" was his most memorable quote. By the end of the day he's got down well into the 14s and started asking all sorts of drag tech related Q's! Junior Dragster was his new nickname. This changed later that night to Jungle Jem

Did 2 more runs in the severely traction limited Duster, 15.1@95 and 14.9@94. With some rubber it should be good for at least 13s with the 99 speed. The looks and interest it got were great and I'd like to say a huge thanks to Budgie for letting me drive this sweet looking car

. By now it's 5.25pm and I announce to Blue that that is it for my English Drag Career. He sez I should drive a proper car to finish with and offers me his Detroit Hustle Dart. Wow! I explain the strip closes soon and I haven't got the first clue about how his car works. "Jump in and I'll show you, it's a piece of cake!" 5 minutes later I'm strapped in, fired up, backed out and off down the fire up road, feeling pretty nervous, but enjoying the attention that this ultimate street driven beast gets and deserves. I'm in the Q and talking to a pal about whether I should hold back and keep my quickest time of 11.72 in the 'Cab as my personal English Record, or whether I should beat on it and try and go as quick as possible. "Give it a good caning" he sez, "Yeah! be rude not to" I say, just as Blue looms over me shoulder agreeing!!!

Push the Dart down the fire up road. Jump in early to fiddle the 5 point harness on. Feel pretty special having peeps pushing me as I sit in the car. Feel proper pro flicking switches in an overhead console and firing the beast up. Roll round, reverse into the water. Snick into 2nd with the totally unfamiliar Winters gate shifter (used to a ratchet shifter on the other side of the seat

) Push brakes hard, push switch on gearstick, release brakes (all totally unfamiliar as I used to switch the rears off instead) mash the throttle, fling it in 3rd, fly out of the water. D'oh!

A 2 second burnout ain't gonna do me no favours!! I creep up to the line in 1st. Yellows! Boom!! I'm off and running watching the tach as Blue said 2nd comes up quick. The needle hurtles up to 6000, I slam the shifter, nothing happens! In my hastiness to stage I'd forgotten to move the shift lever to the side of the gate to bang 2nd! A quick shuffle and the machine gun fire of the MSD on the rev limiter and I'm in 2nd with the needle once again hurtling up to the 6000 mark, no probs this time as I've dogged the gate and slam it into 3rd. The needle once again climbs amazingly quickly and I'm over the line close to 6000 again. Off the gas and roll through to the top end shaking a bit from the excitement. The Cab's times were always due to the 60ft with the rest being a bit of a cruise. This was the first fully sorted 440 I have driven on the strip and the power was incredible. Like a giant hand just shoving you onwards and onwards with no perceptable loss of acceleration. Absolutely Awesome

. I get back to the pits. This time my English Race Career is REALLY over. Blue comes sauntering up tutting about my appalling burnout and resultant Caltrac Shuffle

11.8@116 he sez!

Wow! Not my quickest ever run, but best ever terminal speed. An excellent compromise, I'll never forget THAT run

Big thanks to Blue for trusting me with his never ending masterpiece of engineering and nostalgia

Didn't think it could get any better than that, what a way to finish off at the 'Strip.......................
Blue takes me for a stroll round the top end of the pits on the premise of not having seen anything up there. We have a look over Moose Hollingsworth's amazing hitech twin turbo 'Tina. Man, that has some technology

We stroll back to the camp area, and yes! I'd been mugged up! Jeff calls me over and there's this big plastic bag on the table. He does a little speech (which has escaped me due to the following shock I receive) He unveils, beneath the common binbag, the most awesome piece of crash helmet artwork imaginable! To say I was lost for words is an understatement. I probably gabbled some old tosh as usual but I was simply blown away and got all emotional

I slipped the helmet on to try and cover me feelings up, but you can probably see the glassy eyes in the ensuing shot fest from the assembled snappers! "Kev's Head", as the signed head has apparently been dubbed, was the final straw! Man, you guys can't half pull a surprise on an old cynical git like meself! I will get detailed pics of both pieces of Jeff's awesome skills when the sun comes out

Guys and girls who made this extraordinary gesture possible, I would like to thank you all. It is just about the nicest thing (outside family) that anyone has ever done for me. Thanks!

I'd like to think I could somehow reciprocate one day, but it would take some doing. Carole has said that "Kev's Head" will take pride of place in our new home in Brisbane
After a great BBQ (Tesco Beef Koftas! Mmmmm!) and some pickled eggs, I suddenly realised there was an opportunity to don my Mankini!!

Sorry

A great night was had over the ClubHouse with our Noddy/Herts/Essex crew + surprise addition from Essex; DustyMopar, Swindon Crew, Surrey Muscle, Tim Holmes and Dave BillyGoat, etc, etc. Back to the campsite for some good ol' Chas & Dave then berated into bed by Debs @ about 4.30 in the dawn light, serenaded by the early sheep

Next morning saw rain so I laid in 'til 1pm

Packed up the tents then off down the pits to see some racing, meeting many peeps on the way. Got to the fire up road. It's empty!!!

First time I've ever been up for some spectating instead of queuing or working on the 'Cab and there's no one to watch, just my luck

Saw a few cars run as we all chatted, then off back to the Challenger via a lot of goodbyes and hand shaking etc. Cruise off without having to do any work getting a race car back to street trim. Great! Wish I'd thought of not bringing the 'Cab before

Great cruise home, no traffic, Gingsters in the services etc. Me and Philth were saying how good it was not having a broken car to drive home in like so many other occassions (cracked 'vertor snout with nappies taped underneath, broken pipe on headers near the head, 9 broken piston rings, broken spring perch, Philth's clutch exploding, etc, etc, to name a few

) Of course we spoke too soon (Philth's tyre incident reported elsewhere), but luck was with us and, after commenting before the incident that this was the earliest we'd ever been back, we were still at our homes by 9pm (my late record being 1am and Philth not even making it at all). I must thank Phil for taking me up there, love your car mate, them E-bods are growing on me

Thanks to Stu and Gareth for the pickled eggs, 2 cans of Stella and the bag of Seabrooks in return for the 11s 318 recipe, you do remember the tricks & secrets don't you boys?

I told you at 3 in the morning, honest!
All in all, despite not having the 'Cab, this was one of my most memorable and pleasant events ever thanks to all you people that I am proud to call my friends and the general good feel that is the grassroots drag scene of this forever green and pleasant land! England, forever in my heart! Party On, Dudes!!